alone in the garden of gethsemane

            i reach for the dagger i have hidden on the  top shelf

      feel the cold metal in the palm of my hand

      angels flee to the safe dark corners

      cowering afraid of what may come next

      i kneel on the cold stone floor of the kitchen

      the dagger pressed to my heart

      dear god

      i cry out

      i cannot any longer

      the pain is too unbearable

      please

      take it away

      i remember a man in gethsemane

      he too prayed that the pain may be removed

      i stand up from the floor in the kitchen

      return the dagger for safe keeping

      i too will be strong